I chopped off my hair

I actually reminded myself of little toddler Pinkleberry (if you remember how frequently she cut her own hair) while I was doing it.  It’s a long story of frustration that I won’t go into.  But I had decided to do it a couple days before hand.  Unfortunately on the day I really HAD to cut it, I was in a super grumpy mood.  So when I asked Baboo to help me, she rightfully declined.  She didn’t want to have a part in me doing something out of anger that she thought I might later regret.

But that left me no choice but to do it myself, seeing as I was the only other person home at the time.  So anyway, I just kind of grabbed a fistfull of hair from the top of my head and cut it off.  Then I grabbed more fistfulls from the sides and cut those off, too.  You have no idea how bad it looked.  (FYI, curly hair is very forgiving. But I was cutting it while it was straight so it looked awful.) I was going to go back and ask Baboo to cut the back for me but I think she might have freaked out at that point.  So I just kept going myself.  I just grabbed a bunch of hair by touch and cut.  I couldn’t even see what I was doing.

Once it was sufficiently short I kind of cleaned it up a little bit.  I was pretty worried.  But it turns out there was nothing to worry about.  I hopped in the shower, washed and conditioned my hair.  It felt so good to have such easy access to my scalp.  Then I got out and put some coconut oil in it.  And you know what?

I really liked it.  It looked good.  It looked so good that I wondered how it would look if I put some gel in it.  So I quickly cooked up a batch of my beloved flax seed gel and used it.  I loved the tightness and the definedness of the curls after the gel.  But that also means there was less volume, but there were things to love either way so I was super happy.

I went down to Baboo to show her.  She was surprised but said it looked good.  She was just slightly on the right side of convincing in her response.  She told me that there were some uneven spots behind my ears in the back and she was going to fix them for me, but she was busy then and I couldn’t wait.  So I just went back again by feel and snipped some more off.

When the Hubba came home with the boys, everyone was shocked.  But the Hubba immediately said he loved it.  That meant a lot because he doesn’t particularly like short hair.  Kelvinator sometimes just stares at me and when I catch him doing that, he shouts out “Mom!  I just love your haircut!  It looks so good!”  He’s probably said that about ten times this weekend.  Makes me happy.  He also thinks I look a lot like JJ now.  Apparently JJ and I have the same hairline.

I have to say, I am really liking it so much.  I would give anything to have long hair.  But what grows out of my head is never going to be that.  It’s so thin and fragile.  So I’ve just got to work with what I have.  And I think it looks good.  It makes me feel good.  It doesn’t really get messed up and it’s so easy to care for.  In fact, the only thing I don’t like about it is that it’s still actually pretty long.  It doesn’t look long because it’s so curly.  And because the texture is so uneven (looser curls in the front, tighter curls in the crown, almost straight along my nape), the curlier spots are longer than the straighter parts.  I kind of wish it really was as short as it looks.

But anyway, I’ll take it.

Also, every time I have had short hair, I have been mistaken for a man.  The last time was when I was like 7 months pregnant with Pink.  It’s devastating.  So having short hair means I definitely prefer to feminize myself.  So this weekend I have been wearing earrings and necklaces and makeup.  I have felt pretty for the first time in ages.  Probably can’t keep that up long term, but it’s nice to do it every once in a while.

I know someone will ask for a photo.  I don’t have any.  I have the capability of taking super low quality photos on Wiyah’s old phone but then it’s a total hassle trying to send them anywhere to do anything.  So don’t ask.  But I think there’s a photo of me at Wink’s baptism where you can see it.