My mother told me to “Buck up!”

She did.  She said it twice.  She didn’t even ask me what was wrong when I told her I was having a hard time with this whole adulthood thing.  In fact, I was kind of commiserating with her at the time.  But she just said, “Have you even started menopause yet?”  Meaning I still had a long way too go and it was much too early for me to be feeling that way.

“Buck up!”  she said.  In fact, she said it twice.  And she said it in a way that did not invite further commentary from me about what was so difficult.  She didn’t say it in a sweet voice that sounded like it should be accompanied  by a playful shoulder punch.  She was firm.  And it sounded like it needed to be followed with the word “solider.”  “Buck up, Soldier!  Quit your whining and get up and get ‘er done.”  And when she said it I remembered several things about her life and the amazing challenges that she pulled herself though single-handedly.  And she also reminded me of a great grandmother, Susie Husky Barbee,  who is actually on my dad’s side.  But Susie is someone who led a difficult life from all I can tell from census records and whenever I search for her or study about her I’m just struck by her strength and perseverance.

I wouldn’t have thought that my own mother telling me to Buck Up was what I needed on  a day like yesterday.  But I drew strength and courage from it.  At least enough to face one more day.  I could do one more day.  That’s all I’m promising.