Donald Trump is about to be our next president. And there is a lot of controversy about that. I have definite opinions about some of those things. But I’m trying to make this post a politically neutral post so I’m keeping those opinions to myself.
Being LDS, I am also aware of the specific criticisms that our church is receiving (from within and without) because of two situations.
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir is singing at his inauguration.
Two apostles will be attending the inauguration.
Because of the amount of controversy over this particular presidential election, the attendance at this event is being seen as making some sort of a statement of endorsement, even though the choir and apostles and have a long-standing history of attending past inaugurations.
And like I said, there’s a lot that can be said about that, which I am refraining from saying. My purpose in that is because I want to emphasize this one point.
Let’s just say that Donald Trump is all the negative things that people say about him. I’m not putting up any argument that he is. I’m saying, for the sake of argument let’s just assume that he is as vile a person who is unqualified for this office of president as we ever seen in the history of our country.
Mark 2:15-17
And it came to pass, that, as Jesus sat at meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for there were many, and they followed him.
And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners?
When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
Jesus found himself in that exact position where the Pharisees expected him to make a statement, take a side, prove a point by rejecting the company of these Publicans–hated Jewis tax-collecters that were seen as traitors for supporting and helping to contribute to the Romans. Even the phrase “publicans and sinners” showed how the people felt about them because of the job they chose to do. It was completely political.
And yet, he broke bread with the publicans and sinners. And we would expect no less from the Savior of the World who loves us all so much. His atonement was planned and executed for us as well as for the “publicans and sinners.”
And I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ. This church has at its head prophets and apostles who are special witnesses of Jesus Christ, who bear his name, who invite all to come unto him.
Of course the choir and the apostles will be attending the inauguration.
The other title I was thinking of for the post was “Polynesians Can Cook”. I wasn’t sure which title was more obvious.
So Baboo and the Boss are married. This is the post where in I try to write down everything I can remember. And first of all, I just have to say how amazing Baboo is. She planned, prepped and paid for almost her entire wedding all by herself while she was working full time. And even just a few weeks before the wedding when she was really sick, she just kept going. I was so proud of her. Everything was amazing and she did it all herself.
On the night of the 19th, her in-laws hosted a “family home evening”at their church building. They were able to whittle the guest list down to between 100 and 150 people. Because the Boss has a HUGE extended family who travelled from all over the country, including from Hawaii, to be there. Most of Baboo’s family was unable to make it, but we were able to supplement with a generous helping of friends. For dinner they served chicken katsu. There was some kind of sauce on the chicken, and steak, and coconut shrimp curry and rice and salad. It was really delicious. (They were actually celebrating a baptism and a baby blessing the day before with all that family in town, so this was the second huge meal in as many days that they had thrown together!)
After eating, the family home evening began with a song that we all sang together from music on the table. Baboo and the Boss had organized their siblings to sing their song with them. It’s called “I Choose You.” And I have to admit that though I’ve heard the song on the radio and hummed along for months, I had never really listened to the words. So listening to them practice at our house was really sweet. (Baboo and Boss sang the first verse. All the siblings came in on the choir. Pink and Wink had a duet on the third verse.)
When we’re born into this world We don’t really get to say Little boys and little girls handed the brand new families There comes a time in life When we finally get to choose And I choose you, I choose you
We can’t give our two cents Of how tall we want to be We don’t get an opinion On our ethnicity But the one we spend our life with That we get to choose And I choose, I choose you
Chorus: I choose you, to be by my side I choose you, to hold me at night It’s the biggest decision I’m about to get right I choose you, I choose you
Everybody has one, A choice they get to make Half human half heaven That decides the family tree Now we all pick the branches That then becomes the roots I choose you, I choose you
Chorus
I was worried I would not know what to do If I was in these shoes Standing here it’s clearer than the sky is blue That I choose you, I choose you With so little we control, thank God it’s in the rules We get to choose, and I choose you
Chorus
Then the Hubba shared a scripture. Papa Boss and his dad gave a short lesson on the meaning of Aloha. Then each table played a round or two of Button, Button, Who’s Got the Button. Then there was the slide show that Baboo put together of Baboo and the Boss from babies through their engagement and of bridal photos. I meant to get a copy to post here, but that obviously didn’t happen. I’ll have to try to get it later. And then there was ice cream for the FHE treat. It was a fun evening.
The next day, was a little crazy. But it essentially boils down to this: I drove down to the temple with Baboo and Boss because I was Baboo’s escort and needed to be there when she was at 11:30. The Hubba was a witness for the sealing so he and the rest of the kids left in the van later. We got to the temple a little early, which was a good thing because we ended up not being able to find parking easily. It was packed!
I thought it was kind of weird for them to drive to the temple together with me in the back seat, but like good little children, they assured me that it was not.
I loved being Baboo’s escort and just serving her and helping her and being the person there for her. The Bride’s Room was beautiful and as I was helping her into and out of clothing, we were quietly and reverently joking that she was Lady Mary and I was Anna. It was so much fun. I enjoyed talking to the temple workers while she and Boss were at the veil. They were asking me so many questions about Baboo and Boss and about our families and I just felt like a celebrity!
In the sealing room, I was sitting in the special chairs next to the bride and groom. I had forgotten that that was going to happen! Hubba and Boss’s dad were sitting across the room in the chairs reserved for witnesses. When Baboo and Boss came in after we were all seated, I wanted to greet her but the moment passed. Then I thought I’d at least like to reach out and squeeze her hand or something, but both of her hands were wrapped up in the Boss’s and it was really sweet and fitting. So I just sat there smiling.
The Boss’s mom died several years ago. (And as I’m writing this paragraph, to make it easier for you to understand, I will refer to the woman who died as the Boss’s mom and the woman his father remarried as the Boss’s step-mom. But just so that you know, she is not by any means a “step” mom. She is the mom, too. It’s just for clarity since I’m not using names.) Anyway, the sealer was the Boss’s maternal grandpa. So his mom’s father got to seal them. It was so special. There was an open seat of honor next to me and another one open next to the Boss’s step-mom on the other side. The sealer invited us to have someone come sit with us. So I asked the Hubba’s mom to come sit by me. And the Boss’s step-mom asked his maternal grandma to sit with her. It was a very sweet and precious how his mom’s parents took such prominent roles and represented her there. It was so touching.
The sealer gave them counsel from the Proclamation on the Family. And then he sealed them together. Baboo was shaking, with nerves and excitement (and possibly low blood sugar–she had only eaten like 1/2 meal in two days!). At one point as I was looking at Baboo, I had flash back to when she was 7 or 8. It was as if I was looking at her when she was that old for just a moment. And I couldn’t believe that that little girl I used to have was this beautiful woman making yet another covenant. I just can’t get over what an amazing person she is. I couldn’t see Boss’s face but Baboo told me he was emotional and later said he couldn’t believe he had not cried. I saw that his dad and Hubba were emotional and crying as well. Next to me, I could hear his step-mom crying. On my other side, the Hubba’s mom was crying (of course she had had been crying since she arrived!). I had wondered if I would cry and when the Boss’s mom grabbed some tissues before the ceremony, I wondered if I should too. But nope. I was no where near tears at all. I wasn’t emotional unless you call sheer joy emotional. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. After the sealing, I was the first person to greet the couple. I gave the Boss a hug. I just like him. He’s a good guy. And then I gave Baboo a hug and it was probably the most enthusiastic hug she’s ever given me. She practically jumped to hug me and held on for a long time. I am just so proud of her and all her choices.
I got to stay with Baboo and help her into her gown. The Boss’s dad went to go get her bouquet. We actually had a hilarious temple run in with a local celebrity that we know while we were waiting to exit the temple. I’m not actually willing to share more. This is just a place holder to help me personally remember the story in the future.
I exited the temple to tell everyone who was waiting in the heated gazebo that the bride and groom were about to come out. When I got to the gazebo, the Boss’s aunts were there waiting for me and the Hubba with leis. I’ve never gotten a real lei before. So amazing to smell these fragrant flowers all day! They were just beautiful! While we were getting the leis on we missed the couple coming out of the temple. I wasn’t even disappointed, though. I had spent the whole morning with them and it was ok to let everyone else get their fill. Although it’s a little sad that I won’t be in any of the photos or videos taken at that time.
It was a beautiful, sunny day. In fact, the high was more than 20 degrees warmer than it had been for two weeks and it was the warmest day of the week. So it was perfect. But it was still cold. Like mid-40s. So they came out of the temple on the south side, which was bearable. But the photos needed to be taken in the shade on the north side. It was so cold! But we all persevered without jackets so that you could see her wedding colors and the matching clothes that were so meticulously planned out!
One thing made me sad, though. They did a family photo with all the family members who were there for the Boss’s family. And it was huge. Like the entire steps of the temple were filled three or four deep. And then when they called for Baboo’s family it was just the 9 of us and the Hubba’s parents. I wished that we had a big group there supporting her, too. I remembered several years ago when we had like 40 people staying in my house for Thanksgiving and wished we could have had that at her wedding.
The Boss’s Family
And this is my friend whose wedding started this whole thing off six months ago!
Baboo still had to take photos of just her and the Boss, but the rest of us needed to head back home to get the reception set up. Baboo can’t get into and out of her gown on her own so I offered to stay and help but she said she’d take care of and she needed me at the reception. So I just left her.
We drove home and on the drive, I started just relaxing and feeling sleepy. I had gone to bed at about 1am the night before and was up at 5am and the whole day had been a whirlwind!
I wasn’t the only tired one!
But we got home, picked up all the reception decorations and ran them over to the venue about 20 minutes late. Baboo had drawn up these intricate plans of how she wanted everything decorated. And all the relief society ladies were just delighted at all that the thought and effort she had put into things and they were totally clear and everybody knew exactly what needed to be done.
Setting things up
I was glad for their help, too. In fact, the one thing I definitely know about myself is that I am not the type of person who entertains or enjoys entertaining. I’m not a leader/organizer and I’m not good at planning events. So I was really happy those ladies were there. They just took over and mostly did everything while I putzed around looking lost and not knowing what to do. In fact, several of the brides maids and sisters-in-law were asking me questions about what to do about such and such and I just had no idea and wondered why they were asking me and I would look around for Baboo or the Boss’s mom because they seemed to know things where I was just clueless. I hope I have other useful talents to make up for this deficit. By the time everything was almost ready to go, I was dead. My eyes were burning from lack of sleep and my head felt funny. I was exhausted and felt like I was moving and thinking in slow motion.
The Boss’s family was in charge of food. For the third night. In a row. They had the food ready to go a half an hour before the reception started so that everyone in the wedding party and who was there helping set up the reception could eat before it started. And oh my gosh. THE FOOD! There was another yummy salad. And pineapple in some kind of spicy red sauce. I had thought that there was no way to improve upon raw pineapple but I was obviously mistaken. Then there was what the Boss called pan-fried noodles. They looked and tasted like Chow Mein except it was dryer and crisper and therefore better. But it was so tasty and loaded with yummy veggies. X and I could have eaten that all night. There was rice, of course. With grilled chicken, this kind of salty shredded pork and these tender beef ribs. I put one on my plate and the Boss said this is the kind of meat that you take a stack of, not just one. And he was right. I don’t even know how to describe the tender deliciousness of it. And there were cakes. Something that looked like coconut cake but apparently wasn’t (or so I heard), a delicious kind of creamy chocolate cake that I wish I had had more of) and a guava cake (that I had for the first time at the reception of the wedding where Baboo and Boss met and that I had LOVED).
Between eating and having guests arrive, my spirits lifted. I didn’t think I was going to be able to get through a few hours of reception. But it was so much fun. I always feel awkward going to wedding receptions. Like I’m really not good enough friends with these people to really be here. They just invited me to be polite. But I loved seeing our friends and family come. The Hubba’s parents were there of course. And his brother and his three daughters and their mom was there too. We had friends from our old ward and Chris’s business partners. People we knew from our neighborhood now. And it was really sweet that our friends who own the cabin drove so far to be there and insisted that we plan on going to the cabin again this summer. Baboo even had some people she had known on her mission who were here from Canada.
We were all starving, of course, and after eating first, most of us were ready for seconds just at the beginning of the reception. At first I was telling my kids no because we wanted to make sure there was enough food for everyone. But it became apparent over the next little while that that was not going to be an issue. There was so.much.food. It was so good. And everyone loved it. In fact, I took it upon myself that evening to ask the people I was greeting, “Did you get something to eat?” or “Make sure you fill up!” or “Do you need me to get you some more?” I’ve never been that kind of person in my life. I am a food nazi, always counting how many servings are available and limiting everyone to that amount. It was so fun to just be like, There’s plenty! Eat up! And at the end of the reception, they were still taking so much more food home. It was crazy.
The Boss and I served Baboo a plate right at the beginning and I made her take some bites right away before setting the plate down so she could greet people. Later I saw her sitting down and eating so I relaxed about that for a bit. There were so many people. The tables were filled, the chairs were filled. And it was standing room only for a while. There was no wedding line so Baboo and the Boss just walked around greeting people at their tables. When there was just a little while left, they cut the cake. The Boss’s mom thinks the symbolism of feeding the sweet things of life to your spouse is really important and that you shouldn’t mess with that by being silly and smashing the cake in your spouse’s face. So it was just a really tender, sweet moment of cake eating.
Then they had a dance, followed by the daddy-daughter, mother-son dance. Baboo had the Hubba pick the song they danced to and he chose “Your Childhood” by the Proclaimers.
Chorus: From birth to five, you’re learning
From five to ten, you’re playing
By the time you’re fifteen
You’re never wrong
But then you turn around
And it’s all gone, your childhoodNow daddy knows what he’s saying
You’re in my arms and I’m praying
That I’ll be given the strength and time
To make yours just as happy as mine
Your childhood
Every morning
Your crying ends my sleep
I kid on I’m angry
But it’s not a feeling I can keep
There’s no light outside
I don’t care ‘cos I know it’s true
That in our house
The sun shines out of you
You’ve got your mother’s looks
Your’re a beautiful little girl
You’ll break boys hearts
All over this world
Then one day you’ll walk out the door
And I know you’ll break mine
You’ll break mine
Chorus
So you’re trying to talk
Any day now you’ll walk
You’ll be running around
Make me act like a clown
‘Cos I live and I breathe
For my little girl
Our little girl
The most important thing is this whole wide world
Now daddy know what he’s saying
Your in my arms and I’m praying
That I’ll be given the strength an time
To make yours just as happy as mine
Your childhood
Followed by general dancing. Mack and Kelvinator tore it up for a bit. X wanted to go out there with Wiyah but she was helping Baboo change out of her gown and into street clothes. A little while later she came to give me another hug and say goodbye. And shortly after that there was a big send off for them as they were leaving. I didn’t even know it was happening until it was almost over. Surprisingly, I was ok, too. It’s not like they weren’t going to be back in a few days. And we get to be with them for eternity. Then it was cleaning up. There was lots of help. But it was still daunting for me. And I was so tired. And my feet hurt. I did a lot. But when I faded towards the end, the kids and the Hubba totally picked up my slack and took care of everything while I basically sat there doing nothing.
The Hubba just kept saying all evening how amazing the reception was and beautiful and how impressed he was how Baboo had pulled it all off and that maybe she should be a wedding planner. It was just lovely. All of it.
So in Wiyah’s last letter home, she said that if anyone was interested they could read 15 pages in the Book of Mormon every day and they’d finish by the time she got home from her mission. Challenge Accepted! So I have temporarily suspended (or at least slowed) my regular study of the New Testament to blast through the Book of Mormon (in French) before she gets home.
I started today with 1 Nephi. I’m in chapter three and Lehi has just gotten the first commandment to go back to Jerusalem to get the brass plates. And it’s all sorts of trouble with Laman and Lemuel complaining but then Nephi’s all “I will go and do!” And I’m just thinking of how they didn’t even know that they would be asked to go back again. And I started wondering why the Lord wouldn’t just tell them when they were leaving Jerusalem the first time to go pick up the plates and also stop by Ishmael’s house on the way out of town to grab him and his daughters. Wouldn’t that have just been so efficient and clear and saved so much hassle?
So as these thoughts are going through my head I start thinking about he recurring “trips to Jerusalem” that I keep taking. Honestly, sometimes I’m so sick of Jerusalem. Why do I have to keep going back? Why didn’t you just tell me all the things I needed to do when I was in that situation the first time so I could do them and be done and move on and get to the promised land already?
And the truth is, I don’t know why the Lord kept sending them back to Jerusalem anymore than I know why I keep having to relive some of my own challenging situations over and over again. I can speculate as to possible reasons. And applied to Nephi and his brothers, they seem reasonable. But applied to me, reasonable doesn’t cut it. I want serious, personalized answers that I probably won’t get in this life. But at least I can know that I’m not alone.
Another thought I was thinking was that they were ALL going to the promised land. The Lord didn’t say, “If Laman and Lemuel don’t get their acts together, they can stay right here and I’ll leave them behind.” Nope. That was never an option. In fact, the only thing He really says about it is that if Laman and Lemuel rebel, they will lose the spirit of the Lord and that He will “curse them with a sore curse and they will have no power over” Nephi’s posterity.
First of all, there’s a little ambiguity there. It could be that they will be cursed with a sore curse and we don’t know what it is. OR the sore curse could be that they will have no power over Nephi’s posterity. But they still get to go to the promised land.
Why is that? Why is it that even after all Laman and Lemuel do, they get to be there? The Lord is pretty merciful and give lots of chances. I also wonder how promised the promised land would be if Lehi had to leave some of his children behind. Or maybe the Lord was just taking the long view, as per His usual, and could see that Laman and Lemuel were super rebellious but he had a plan for those Anti-Nephi-Lehi descendants who came so much later. They would never have their beautiful story if Laman and Lemuel hadn’t made it to the promised land.
But I think what’s most important is that the promised land was the Promised Land only to Nephi, Sam, their spouses, Lehi, Sariah and others. To Laman and Lemuel and the family members who sided with them, they just never actually arrived at the promised land. Yeah, they got off the boat at the same time and place but it wasn’t the promised land to them. It was the promised land to those who had the spirit of the Lord and who believed that if they kept the commandments they would prosper. The irony (is that the right word?), of course, is that the Nephites did ultimately rebel and got wiped off the face of the land so that promise was fulfilled because they, uh….didn’t prosper. Meanwhile, the “wicked” Lamanites are still here. And I’m not even sure what is meant by the word “prosper” because from early on the Lamanites WAY outnumber the Nephites. So it must not mean what I usually think of it as meaning.
But I think the point is that it doesn’t matter where you are or what you have or how you prosper or even how safe you are. According to 1 Nephi, the righteous and wicked all ended up in the promised land. They were all brought there. Everyone had access to all the blessings. I think the Promised Land, then, must have more to do with the state of your own heart than a physical destination. That’s how Nephi was able to arrive there after a long and difficult journey of adversity, but Laman and Lemuel never did.
Our Stake asked all the Primary children to memorize “The Living Christ: The Testimony of the Apostles”. So our family immediately started memorizing it. I’m not exactly sure when we began, but I’m thinking it was maybe at our ward conference which was the first week of February. So it’s been about 3-4 months and as of today we are exactly half way done!
I’ve actually been surprised at how well Wink has done. I figured that with her being the youngest, she would really struggle. But for the first many months she was the leader in our home when it came to memorizing it. Now she has the whole thing memorized but does struggle just a bit to get everything in the right order. But I’m super impressed.
I thought I would have an easy time of it since I always easily memorized things for drama and English in high school. But it was me who had the hardest time with the memorization. It took me a long time to finally understand the outline of the document so I could get the pieces in the right spot. It also doesn’t help that every time we gather to memorize the next chunk, I was overcome with a wave of sleepiness that often left me out cold while everyone else worked on memorizing the next sentence or two. (Seriously, it was bad.)
But we are halfway done. At this rate, we should definitely have the whole thing memorized by the end of the year. This is the only thing we have been doing for family scripture study since they asked us to memorize it. I hope that the repetition of a powerful witness of Jesus Christ will light a spark in us all. And that we will be able to recall this in times of need or for comfort.
I was having an email conversation with an old college friend of mine and she brought to my attention this article. She said, ” …there was not one mention of God in the entire post. He thinks that his work in this class was because of himself and the stake leaders noticing his talents. It makes me sick, sick, sick that he doesn’t even acknowledge God.”
I read the article and it did smack of…what she says. I felt like it was all about the teacher and how great he was. And it also smacked of….me. I kind of cringed about that. I felt that her assessment of that teacher could also aptly be applied to me. I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently. And I haven’t taught very much in Primary since then because we’ve had special Sundays plus General Conference and Stake Conference. So in the past week I’ve only taught like twice.
Anyway, Friday I was at a primary activity and happened to be sitting next to a teacher who has the class I just taught last year. I didn’t know it at the time, but we figured it out over the course of the conversation. She was talking about how amazing her class was and that she had never had a class like them before. As an example, she shared a story of how when she tells them she’s going to read a story from the scriptures to them, they all ask her to wait while they open their scriptures (they all bring them) and ask her where the story is so they can read along. She can’t read a single scripture without them wanting to find it and read along with her. And she thinks it’s awesome.
And my first thought was that I taught them that! If they didn’t bring scriptures to class, we went to the library to get a set. At the beginning of the year I wanted them to read along with a scripture but they didn’t even know how to locate the scripture in their quads. So I skipped the entire planned lesson that day and instead I showed them how quads were organized–old testament, new testament, book of mormon, doctrine and covenants. I taught them about how the tabs worked and how their was a table of contents at the beginning of the OT, NT and BoM to help them if they didn’t have tabs. We talked about what the reference numbers at the top of the page meant. Then after that, every time I was reading a scripture, we made sure that every single kid could find it in their scriptures before I read. In the beginning it took forever because I had to help 5 kids find the place in their scriptures (usually upside down because they were sitting across from me!). But by the end of the year, a lot of them could find the reference themselves and they were more likely to quickly find it and then help each other without needing my help. And every week I asked them if they had read their scriptures that week. Family scripture study was so important but their personal scripture study was of paramount importance and they couldn’t count their family scripture study. And then regardless of what anyone answered, we always took five minutes at the beginning of class for “personal study”–where they would find their place and just read silently on their own.
So anyway, that’s why I thought *I* taught them that when she said that’s how they read scriptures in her class. It made me so happy to see this lasting impact I had had.
But I wondered… And worried about my own pride and whether or not I am giving glory to God or just taking it all to myself. Do I mention God in my posts? Do I attribute anything to his power and his glory or the inspiration of the Spirit? I don’t think I do. So am I somehow saying this is all just due to my own brilliance and accomplishment as a teacher somehow? Or what about those kids’ parents? Surely they were being taught more at home about the gospel than I was teaching them in 50 minutes on a Sunday every week. Why was I suddenly taking credit for their behavior in that class and the way they looked up scriptures?
I do feel really happy about it. And I don’t think that happiness is bad. Maybe it is, though? I don’t know. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. But I also feel like maybe I’m not supposed to feel that it’s *MY* accomplishment. I think the appropriate response should be to feel Happy about what God accomplished with those kids through me, through the church, through the primary president and most importantly through their parents and through the Holy Ghost which gift those kids received the year I was teaching them.
A few weeks ago we were sitting down with Wink trying to figure out who was going to do what for her baptism. She really wanted our bishop to be there and was going to assign him a talk! But the Hubba told her to keep it in the family. So she did. Only we got to the end of the family before we got to the end of the things to do at the baptism! We didn’t even have enough people in our family to field a baptism service! So strange. I ended up doing double duty by leading the music and giving the opening prayer.
X baptized Wink. I don’t know what makes a Mama prouder–having her last child choose to enter in at the gate of Salvation or having her 16 year old son provide that saving ordinance!
I had spent a lot of time with Wink this morning getting her showered and dressed and doing her hair. I just wanted to lavish on the attention for her special day. I also loved the time with her in the changing room and seeing how happy she was for her baptism and the excitement that she had looking forward to her confirmation. I was just so happy to be there helping her change and making sure her hair looked great and talking to her and hugging her. I love that spunky girl.
After the baptism, the Hubba confirmed Wink a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and gave her the gift of the Holy Ghost. What a great blessing.
These two handsome devils were the speakers at Wink’s baptism. Mack spoke on baptism and Kelvinator spoke on the gift of the Holy Ghost. They were great talks. Mack’s was particularly awesome because when he was quoting the 4th article of faith he actually said, “dot dot dot baptism by immersion for the remission of sins.” And also because of his sweet testimony at the end. Kelvinator’s was particularly awesome because it was so very thoughtful. He is very careful about words (just like when he was little) and only says the exact thing that he means.
Baboo played all the music. Here she is with our lovely former sister missionary who is now living not very far from us. They are going to church together tomorrow. She was so sweet to come to Wink’s baptism (and bring her a little gift–a baptismal plaque with a poem and a sweet little compass necklace to remind her that the Holy Ghost will always help her find her way) and we were thrilled to have her there!
Wink wanted to sing her favorite primary song as the opening song. A Child’s Prayer. For the closing song, she chose “Love At Home.” It was one of the sweetest moments for me to be leading that song while watching tall X sit with both his arms around his little sisters as they leaned tight into him. I wish I could have stopped the song to pull out my camera.
Pink gave the closing prayer. It was such a wonderful and thoughtful prayer. She did not blast through it but asked for such special blessings for Elise and all of us. After the meeting I was greeting a friend of mine who had sung in the choir and whose daughter I had taught in Primary last year. She was a little teary and told me what a great and spiritually powerful meeting it had been–especially Pink’s prayer. She was very touched by it. She said lots of great things about my kids and how the world needs them.
These are actual flat-footed sizes.
After the baptism, we came home where Wink was just too excited because she knew she was going to be presented with her scriptures from her grandparents. They couldn’t be here for the baptism but will see her soon.
Shortly after that, a friend from her Primary class who couldn’t make it to the baptism came by with another gift–a treasure box that is symbolic of the great treasure she now has in the gift of the Holy Ghost.
There is a lot in my life that is a complete mess, an utter disaster. But there are some things that are so very right that at times I find it hard to even imagine how it could possibly improve. I take no credit for this. My family is the biggest blessing and the best thing in my life and it has happened despite me. Heavenly Father sent these amazing people to my life to raise and I am just happy that I did not ruin them.
Although I grew up lonely as an only child of a single mother, I have been able to give my 8 children the stability of a two-parent home for their entire lives. I have one daughter who served a full-time mission. My next two oldest children have or will participate in general conference from their missionary labors in different countries. I get to hear from them via email tomorrow and I will get to skype with both of them in five weeks.
Between sessions of General Conference, the Hubba took the kids on a walk to the “sand dunes.” X and I joined them a little later. X was invited to take a fun trip with some of friends of his over spring break starting tomorrow. We finally got the last of the information we needed to make a decision and while X played with his younger sibs, the Hubba and I decided that the answer was no.
Kelvinator was standing with me and the Hubba when we reached that decision. The Hubba called over to where X was with the littlies and told him our answer was no. X said, “Ok.” And immediately looked down to text the answer to his friends…
Hubba: X is so good natured about everything that it’s hard to tell him no to anything.
Then he called out to X again…
Hubba: I’m sorry!
X: It’s okay, Dad!
I loved that Kelvinator was there for that exchange. That he saw that we took no pleasure in denying X this opportunity and also that Kelvinator got to see his older teenage brother handling disappointment with grace and receiving the praise of his father.
A little while later, X and I were walking home together. He was walking with his arm draped over my shoulder and I had my harm around his waist. As we walked, I was talking to him about some of the reasons we had said no. I was critical of some small choices he had made in the past and expressed my concern for a situation where he was far from home and where the consequences of poor choices would be bigger.
He agreed with me and said that he understood where I was coming from and that the examples I brought up were indeed things where he had shown lack of judgment and stupidity. As we continued to walk with our arms around each other I asked…
Me: Do you ever get mad at us?
X: Why? You never do anything to get mad at?
I said that other teenagers were mad at their parents frequently and I took the opportunity to ask some questions about someone he knew who had a difficult relationship with his parents. We talked about what his friend was doing and he believed that the friend was making some poor choices. I agreed. We talked about the parents’ reactions and how they were dealing with the situation. I asked if X thought what they were doing was appropriate and if they were handling it well. He didn’t think so and explained to me why a phone and a car had nothing at all to do with the situation and so removing car and phone privileges and grounding the friend wasn’t changing behavior and was only making the teen more frustrated and determined to do what he wanted. I agreed.
Then I asked X about why he didn’t do some of those same things and got very interesting answers that I wasn’t expecting. And then we got home.
While settling in for the last session of General Conference…
Mack: There’s nothing better than watching General Conference in your bedding with a bag of candy!
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Hubba: Did Neil L. Anderson speak already?
Kelvinator & X: Yeah.
K: He spoke in the Saturday afternoon session.
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Baboo: When I was Pink and Wink’s ages, my favorite speaker was Robert D. Hales.
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Baboo: I love when Jeffrey R. Holland speaks in the second Sunday session. Especially when he’s the last speaker. The last time that happened was 2008. We were just on this spiritual high and then he gave that powerful talk on the Book of Mormon. Remember?
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They had just announced that the choir would sing “The Day Dawn is Breaking, ” which is the song I sing to the kids every morning…
Mack: Yeah, Mom! You rock this song out of its pants!
K: Mom, it’s your song!
Baboo: This song is conflicting for me. On the one hand, this is my mom’s song and she’s great because she never yelled at us to wake us up in the morning. She sang us awake. On the other hand, I have to wake up right now.
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Kelvinator: Why don’t they do General Conferences more often Hubba: More often than twice a year? I find it hard enough to implement everything I’m taught the way it is.
Me: Would you like it to happen more often?
K: Yeah.
And then there was the talk where I was sitting on the couch. I was sitting up tall and X was kind of slouched down with his head on my shoulder. Kelvinator was sitting at my feet on the floor holding my hand.
I came across this article today. It was a talk given by Henry B. Eyring back in 1982 at a CES fireside address. It’s all about when you’re working hard at something and the blessings you seek are delayed. He compares it to planting a garden and how some crops come early, but some crops take longer to produce. He also talks about the Law of Diminishing returns which is basically where the amount of work you can put into something is not worth the reward you will get from the work. He says that it’s a real thing. But that there is also the Law of Increasing Returns. I’d say more, but really you should read it straight from the source.
Of all the General Relief Society presidencies I’ve ever had, no one has spoken to me quite the way that Sheri Dew and Julie Beck have. There is just something about those two women that feel more real to me than all the others. I don’t mean to say that the other women aren’t real. Which is why I am saying that Sheri Dew is MY KIND of real.
Tonight we had a stake women’s conference where she was the speaker. It was so good. She personally spoke for more than an hour and it was wonderful. A few things stood out to me.
She started out by telling a story about a time when she was in Brazil and attending church. During relief society, the RS president of that ward asked her to speak for the last 20 minutes of the meeting. Sister Dew said she just basically bore her testimony and sat down. Then after the meeting, a sister came up to her and said that she (Sister Dew) was the reason why the sister was there that day. That she had said something that was an answer to prayers. Sister Dew asked what she said and the sister “quoted” something that Sister Dew had never said. She used this story as an example of how when the Spirit is there, it will translate whatever a speaker says into what the hearer needs to hear. And that’s why praying for the spirit to be there is so important.
She quoted or paraphrased Elder Holland (I think). And basically reiterated that we can pray for ministering angels to help us. She talked about how ever since Elder Holland mentioned that in passing during a conference talk that she has prayed for that very thing. Any time she is facing something particularly difficult, she kind of says, “Heavenly Father, if there is someone up there who feels particularly strongly about this, can you please send them to give me some help today.” Or something like that. And as she was speaking I was thinking of my own dead ancestors and how they might enjoy the opportunity to minister and maybe I ought to really pray for more angelic help.
This was the most important thing I took from the evening. She told a story from when she was a member of the General Relief Society Presidency. It was general conference time and she was attending a special leadership training where the brethren taught the general authorities. So the whole auditorium in the church office building is filled with men and the 9 women of the RS, YW and Primary presidencies. And the topic was on how to strengthen the families of the church. It was very interactive with lots of questions and answers and input and experiences. But the apostle who was leading the discussion corrected the people who were referring to women and men and said to call them mothers and fathers. At first it was kind of weird, but they quickly got used to it. And for the first two hours of the meeting, she thought nothing more of it. But by the end of the fourth hour, she was very keenly aware that she was probably the only person in the world who was not a mother or a father and it brought very poignantly to the surface decades of pain and grief. When that meeting was over, she couldn’t escape fast enough and practically ran back to her office and wept. She was overwhelmingly sad. She had never before felt like she didn’t have a place in the church until that meeting. Maybe she was useless. Maybe God didn’t have a place for her in his kingdom. After a while, the sadness turned to bitterness and anger. She didn’t know what to do with that anger. And it just sat there festering. Soon it was time for the next conference and she was praying and fasting and attending the temple to get revelation for what she should speak on. Nothing. And the weeks were just “rolling by”. Finally she had ONE thought. And it was the Lord telling her that she needed to resolve her feelings about this apostle. So she got on her knees and told the Lord how she felt and asked for forgiveness and help. She said she immediately felt better, but I got the impression it wasn’t a complete resolution. And she thought to ask, “Was there something I missed in that meeting?” And the answer finally came that she needed to speak on motherhood. (And she’s so funny! She rolled her eyes heavenward and said, “Seriously? That’s going to go over real well!”) The talk she ended up giving was “Are We Not All Mothers?”
I don’t know that I’ve ever felt so overwhelmingly normal as I did tonight when a woman that I very much admire and think is a spiritual giant told me that WHILE SHE WAS IN THE GENERAL RELIEF SOCIETY PRESIDENCY she had wept at her own feelings of inadequacy and felt pain and sorrow about denied blessings. That she had left the meeting in tears. That for four months she had harbored negative feelings towards an apostle whom she knew personally. And all of this happened while she was one of the highest leadership positions a woman in the church can hold. It just gave me so much great hope. Especially because she did humble herself and ask for forgiveness and help and then asked for what she had missed and delivered a fabulous and necessary talk as a result.
Are we not all human? That’s how I feel. Like maybe I’m not such an utter failure after all. It was a lovely meeting.
I was having an email conversation with an old college friend of mine and she brought to my attention 
sparkling blue 