Listen First.

So X is supposed to keep us informed of his activities while he is out.  He sends us regular text updates of where he is and who he is with and what he is doing.  He is also supposed to be home by a certain time.

This evening the Hubba and I went out on a double date.  I figured that X would be going out as well and asked before he left what his plans were.  He didn’t know.  Even though for most of the evening I would not be able to receive his texts, I wanted him to still keep me informed.  When we got home, I saw that he had done so.

But as the time passed, I hadn’t heard anything more from him.  It was past the time he was supposed to be home and I was getting frustrated.  So I texted him.

Me:  What’s up?

X: Not much.  Why?

Me:  Because it’s past 11:30.

X:  Well yeah.

At this point I was starting to get pretty upset.  He actually set his own rules about keeping in touch with us while he was out and about the time for his curfew.  Those things came from his brain.  And why was he pretending like he didn’t know what I was talking about?  The Hubba and I were incredulous at his lack of respect and pretention to innocence.  The Hubba wanted me to call him.  So I did.

I can’t remember how the conversation unfolded, but there was a moment of clarity I had in the strange way he answered one of my questions when the light bulb finally came on.

Me:  Are you home?

X:  Yeah.

Me:  Why didn’t you come up to tell us?
(That’s another rule.  When you get in, you come tell mom and dad.)

X:  Wait.  Are you home?

It turns out that X had gotten home like 30 minutes before hand.  He assumed that we still weren’t back yet because the van wasn’t in the driveway.  But the van wasn’t there because Wiyah had taken it out this evening.

So it was all a big misunderstanding that could have been averted if I had asked more specific questions instead of assuming that he knew why I was asking.  And I feel terrible about assuming bad motives for his behavior and not giving him the benefit of the doubt.  But I am happy that there was at enough communication to figure out the misunderstanding quickly and that although I had internally accused him of something wrong, it hadn’t made it’s way into my words or my actions.

And he’s a good guy.  While I was speaking to him on the phone and we just figured out that we were both home, he came upstairs right away and accounted for his time and showed us the sandwich he had made that was already mostly eaten and we had a good laugh.

And the Hubba needed a sandwich like that.